The Cords that Bind Us Together

     My church is in the midst of a stewardship emphasis during which we've been asked to consider why First Baptist-Dalton is our church.  Today in his sermon, our pastor suggested that there are three main reasons someone/a family identifies with a particular church: help, hope and home, all of which I feel we have to offer.  My own experience includes a little of all three.
     First of all, I have a strong family affiliation with our church; both of my maternal grandparents' families have a history of membership dating back to the 1930's, and my parents were the last couple to be married in the old building before moving to our present location (they were supposed to be the first couple married in the current Sanctuary, but that's another story for another time!).  However, my dad's job necessitated relocating to Tennessee, and growing up United Methodist, he and Mom found/joined First United Methodist Church in Manchester, which is the church my older brother and I were born and raised in.  As mentioned in my last blog post, it was a long process for me to finally settle into a career; I needed help.  As it turns out, my mom was in Dalton checking on my grandmother, when she read about the Music Secretary position being open in her copy of the church newsletter, and called to tell me about it.  I sent in my resume the next day, and the rest I suppose is history!  I will always be grateful and pray I never take for granted that my church is also the source of my livelihood.
     Next, I have always appreciated that FBC-Dalton is very much a mission-minded congregation, and strives to be a source of God's hope in so many ways; from our Soul Food feeding program, to mission trips around the world, to our team that builds ramps for those with disabilities, we have many ways that a member can become involved with the outreach of our church.  It's just a matter of finding one (at least!) that's a good fit for you; you almost can't help but feel you've been invited to participate!
     As far as home goes, I mentioned earlier that I actually grew up United Methodist in Tennessee; however, my dad briefly left his job to come and work at my grandparents' rug plant, so we moved to Dalton (actually Leisure Lake in Cohutta) my junior year of high school, and joined/went to First UMC-Dalton while we were here, but eventually headed back to Tennessee when our house didn't sell.  Years later, when I first came to work at First Baptist, I had a decision to make about where I would attend.  I did go back and visit at FUMC a couple of Sundays early on, thinking that possibly there would be some members who might remember me from the year we lived here before, but quickly realizing that it would be somewhat awkward to join a different church from where I was working, especially in terms of feeling like I was making a complete commitment.  So, almost from the very beginning, FBC-Dalton has felt like home to me; my mom even says things have come full circle, carrying on the Edwards/Tatum family tradition!

Providence and Purpose

     Our pastor has started a sermon series on God's providence and the part it plays in our lives; last week in particular he stressed that we always need to keep in mind that God is working in our lives and the world, even if it doesn't always seem so to us in the present moment.  Also, we sometimes may never actually see the end result, or at least not for a long time.  Looking back, I sense that especially in terms of a vocation, God has allowed me to have a variety of experiences that if you put them all together, were in preparation for what He has me doing now.  Since I have always loved music from a young age, and also enjoyed the opportunities I had working with children as a teenager, I originally went to college with a degree in Music Education as a goal, thinking that possibly God was calling/leading me to combine and apply those areas of interest as a career in either a school or church setting.  As it turns out, I probably didn't really have the level of musical talent I thought I did, and in combination with the social/non-verbal difficulties posed by having Turner's Syndrome, I struggled terribly in finding a job related to my degree area right out of college.  I did substitute for some experience and added a regular classroom endorsement on my teaching license right away, but nothing ever seemed to work out despite numerous applications and interviews.  Then finally, I did have a couple of education/youth-related positions in churches, the first of which fell apart along with my ill-fated marriage.  I worked in retail, too, which I enjoyed and was also some good experience, but was not really fulfilling and would probably never provide enough income for me to support myself.  Before coming to my current job, I also held a position as a foster care Case Manager with a local Department of Children's Services office as well, which was quite rewarding, but very emotionally and physically draining, so I decided not to stay on once I was eligible to take even more children on my caseload.  Then, as it so happened, my mom was visiting/checking on my grandmother a few months later, and happened to read her copy of our church's newsletter where my current job was listed as being open.  She called me, I e-mailed my resume the next day, and I guess you could say the rest is history!  My job incorporates elements of all the various experience I had previously; it involves music, the working with children of teaching (although that part is as a volunteer), and even the record-keeping and handling money of retail from time to time.  So, even though it  may have taken longer for me to find an ideal career path than it does for some, I can definitely see God's hand in how everything prior led up to what I'm doing now.
     Today, our pastor proposed the concept that even though as Christians we often look to Christ as being out front/a leader (which we should), He is also behind us in support when we need it as well.  He used the illustration from the familiar story of the Red Sea crossing which describes the pillar of cloud moving behind the Israelites when they were faced with the sea before them and the Egyptian army behind them when there appeared to be no way out.  However, I had never really picked up on that part of the story before, which was an interesting new way to look at it.  It's quite reassuring to know as Christians that we are always surrounded in God's love and care; He has our back, front, and everywhere in-between!
    Reflecting on these ideas has also brought the lyrics of Michael W. Smith's song The Hand of Providence to mind, which I have attached an mp3 of:

Providence, Providence
See it laying down the cornerstone
The Hand of Providence - it's evident
For we could never make it on our own
Apportioning the power
Weighing all that it entails
Giving us the fulcrum
And a balance to the scales

Oh, the Hand of Providence
Is guiding us through choices that we make
Oh, the Hand of Providence
Is reaching out to help us on our way

Providence, ever since
Any thesis ever entered man
The Hand of Providence
Has been our best defense
Tho' his ways are sometimes hard to understand
From the dying of a heartbeat
To another soul reborn
From in between and circling
Our thoughts of love and war

Healing the Hurts

     Our pastor's message in worship today centered on the fact that the story of how God has and is working in our lives can often involve the hurts we've encountered along the way in life and how He has been able to help us heal from them.  It was pointed out that these hurts can take a variety of forms (physical, mental/emotional, etc.), including losing something we hold dear, whether it be a loved one, an ability we used to have, or a dream, etc.  As I reflected on what our pastor was saying, I thought about two areas of my life in particular that God has helped me to heal.  My marriage, although short-lived, was both somewhat physically and mentally/emotionally abusive, and had the potential for being quite debilitating and scarring in more ways than one; however, God worked nothing short of a miracle through the support of my faith, family and friends, allowing me to get out of the situation without any long-lingering effects, and giving me a determination that it wasn't going to cast a shadow over the rest of my life.
     The second area that came to mind was the dream most everyone has of becoming a parent, which will most likely never be a reality for me in any form.  God's healing has also been truly amazing in this situation as well; He has given me a niece and nephew, both of whom are becoming wonderful Christian adults (can you tell I'm a proud aunt or what?!).  Also, He has provided plenty of opportunities for me to work with children as I've mentioned previously, which has always been fulfilling.  Similarly to my marriage as described above, God has given me an attitude of acceptance and a resolve to not let my circumstances define who I am, because life is too short for that!  So, whether it's a more temporary hurt, or one that we deal with over the course of our lifetime, we can trust in God's healing, and that is good news we should all be willing to share!

Christmas Chaos/Craziness and a Car

     Well, part of the reason I haven't posted here in a while is because the Advent/Christmas season makes my schedule absolutely crazy, which of course is to be expected when you work at a church!  However, the Christmas just passed was particularly chaotic for me, because on top of everything going on at work (complete with the usual case of Advent Exhaustion!), there have been several issues in my personal life that cropped up at the same time, all of which had a monetary component to them.  First of all, we were told that our group medical insurance was going to roughly double in price, so I decided to go through the somewhat arduous process of arranging to purchase my own through the new government healthcare exchanges.  Then, when I was home for Thanksgiving, I let my dad take my car for an oil change, and when they took a closer look, several problems were identified that although were not all that critical, eventually would need to be addressed and cost more than the car was worth.  Finally, I had been given a heads-up that my hours/pay were probably going to be cut, which has now become a reality as of the first of the year.  As a result, I am in the process of trying to refinance my mortgage at a lower interest rate and thus bring my monthly payment down, so that my budget can at least partially absorb the impact of the hours/pay cut.  God has been teaching me some tough lessons about His provision and sufficiency through these financial challenges.
     As far as the insurance goes, I was actually able to purchase both a medical and dental plan that are similar in nature to the group coverage we had and saved about $15/month overall, even though that means I'm no longer eligible for payroll deduction.  Also, I've recently had a cold that turned into a sinus infection, and knew I needed to see the doctor for an antibiotic, but had not received my new insurance card yet.  I made up my mind to go ahead and see if they could somehow confirm my coverage without a card anyway, but then it finally came in the mail that day, right before we had a weather-related office closure for a total of 2 days, which was just enough time to rest and start letting the medicine do its job (talk about God's timing!).
    In addition, my parents and I had been talking for a while about the best use of a stock portfolio my grandmother had left my mom (and will be eventually be mine) that is being managed by a local financial advisor.  My mom had mentioned that there was probably enough in the account (but not by much) to actually pay off my condo, which was a tempting scenario because it would mean I could start socking away more in my 403b for retirement, beef up my savings account for emergencies, etc., and eventually take on a car payment, not to mention increase my giving at church.  After discovering what shape my 10-year-old, 100,000+-mile car was in as mentioned earlier, my mom insisted on cashing some of my grandmother's stock to buy a new car outright (no car payment).  I would have been willing to drive my old car until the wheels fell off, but it was probably the best decision in the end, because the rest of the stock is still there in case my parents were to somehow need the money first.  God may not have seen fit to bless me with a husband to share financial responsibilities, but He is still allowing my parents to help me when needed, although they shouldn't have to at this point in their lives.  Having a new car I'm not paying for has also brought to mind a parallel to the gift of God's grace and salvation; there's really nothing we can do to earn it, and it's given in love, even when we don't deserve it.
     Refinancing my mortgage has been a real odyssey; I first tried about a year ago and ended up having to pay for an appraisal anyway when it fell through at the last minute.  When I restarted the process with a different lender, I was first told that I would need another appraisal, and that I probably wouldn't be able to escrow all the closing costs into the loan amount.  As it turns out, we should be able to close very soon, without a second appraisal and not having to pay any money up front!
     At times this Christmas, I wondered if/how I was going to be able to purchase gifts for my family, and I'm still not totally sure about the effect my new budget realities are going to have, but I count my blessings every day that I do have a job I love, and even if my pay gets cut again, I can fully trust that God is going to somehow provide for me, although it may not necessarily be in the way(s) I expect!