Our pastor has started a sermon series on God's providence and the part it plays in our lives; last week in particular he stressed that we always need to keep in mind that God is working in our lives and the world, even if it doesn't always seem so to us in the present moment. Also, we sometimes may never actually see the end result, or at least not for a long time. Looking back, I sense that especially in terms of a vocation, God has allowed me to have a variety of experiences that if you put them all together, were in preparation for what He has me doing now. Since I have always loved music from a young age, and also enjoyed the opportunities I had working with children as a teenager, I originally went to college with a degree in Music Education as a goal, thinking that possibly God was calling/leading me to combine and apply those areas of interest as a career in either a school or church setting. As it turns out, I probably didn't really have the level of musical talent I thought I did, and in combination with the social/non-verbal difficulties posed by having Turner's Syndrome, I struggled terribly in finding a job related to my degree area right out of college. I did substitute for some experience and added a regular classroom endorsement on my teaching license right away, but nothing ever seemed to work out despite numerous applications and interviews. Then finally, I did have a couple of education/youth-related positions in churches, the first of which fell apart along with my ill-fated marriage. I worked in retail, too, which I enjoyed and was also some good experience, but was not really fulfilling and would probably never provide enough income for me to support myself. Before coming to my current job, I also held a position as a foster care Case Manager with a local Department of Children's Services office as well, which was quite rewarding, but very emotionally and physically draining, so I decided not to stay on once I was eligible to take even more children on my caseload. Then, as it so happened, my mom was visiting/checking on my grandmother a few months later, and happened to read her copy of our church's newsletter where my current job was listed as being open. She called me, I e-mailed my resume the next day, and I guess you could say the rest is history! My job incorporates elements of all the various experience I had previously; it involves music, the working with children of teaching (although that part is as a volunteer), and even the record-keeping and handling money of retail from time to time. So, even though it may have taken longer for me to find an ideal career path than it does for some, I can definitely see God's hand in how everything prior led up to what I'm doing now.
Today, our pastor proposed the concept that even though as Christians we often look to Christ as being out front/a leader (which we should), He is also behind us in support when we need it as well. He used the illustration from the familiar story of the Red Sea crossing which describes the pillar of cloud moving behind the Israelites when they were faced with the sea before them and the Egyptian army behind them when there appeared to be no way out. However, I had never really picked up on that part of the story before, which was an interesting new way to look at it. It's quite reassuring to know as Christians that we are always surrounded in God's love and care; He has our back, front, and everywhere in-between!
Reflecting on these ideas has also brought the lyrics of Michael W. Smith's song The Hand of Providence to mind, which I have attached an mp3 of:
Providence, Providence
See it laying down the cornerstone
The Hand of Providence - it's evident
For we could never make it on our own
Apportioning the power
Weighing all that it entails
Giving us the fulcrum
And a balance to the scales
Oh, the Hand of Providence
Is guiding us through choices that we make
Oh, the Hand of Providence
Is reaching out to help us on our way
Providence, ever since
Any thesis ever entered man
The Hand of Providence
Has been our best defense
Tho' his ways are sometimes hard to understand
From the dying of a heartbeat
To another soul reborn
From in between and circling
Our thoughts of love and war
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